into me see.

August 29, 2011 at 10:50 pm 5 comments

privacy, etc.

the importance? pretty important.

but part of this project, part of my experiment in online existence at all, is to figure out what is guarded and why, and the differences people have for their guarding. i tend to be an open book because there’s less to ferret out that way. and in general, i’ve found that people who have honest public presences can help others who are afraid of bits of themselves. but i guess for me, part of me holds a little bit of a grudge against “keeping personal things private.” we tend to hide so much from each other each day, and so taboo subjects stay taboo. of course, there are professional reasons to keep things quiet, though, and that makes sense. i googled myself today and think things are looking pretty okay– mostly my names come up with regional weather or sports topics.

i’ve discovered that many people find writing much more difficult than talking. this has lead to a tiny bit of soul searching as i discover that i actually think of writing as basically “talking, permanently, with my hands.” i talk like i write and was accused of being a walking dictionary in high school, and i write like i talk which means it’s pretty casual, unedited, and honest. actually, there’s a slight difference in the writing, because it takes just a little bit longer so i can be artfully cutesy and clever.

this project has a lot of intentions, some i’ve figured out and some i haven’t. one is one that i’ve talked about a few times here– exploring online existence and how others do it. and then there’s the aspect of celebrating my friends. in that, there’s a little bit of a “i want to look like the most popular boy in the school” and that’s something i need to keep a handle on, but mostly it’s just me gleefully getting to tell all y’all about how lucky i feel and how wonderful all these people are.

but there’s this whole other thing that’s been coming up. based on people’s suggestions, i’m going to people first to ask their permission to post about them. there’s a standardish message i send out, explaining how i know this whole thing is odd, but i wrote about them, and would they give me permission and should i use a name and/or picture or not. some people respond right away, some people haven’t responded after multiple weeks, one person wants to meet up with me in person. but my plan with the project is to give a me-filtered snapshot of each friend. and that means that maybe for the first time, some things are being said. i am honest and positive, but sometimes a little confessional. past crushes and awkwardnesses are coming out. every profile is first a private moment and then a public one, basically winding up with me posting naked pictures of my friends on the internet– except i’m the naked one, not them.

one more thing– i’ve had people ask about doing something like this, and i had a mini possessive freak-out. but really, if you want to do this project, you should. but i will warn you, it has the potential for some exceptionally awkward moments in your life. be warned.


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friend twelve. friend eighteen.

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. linds_e  |  August 30, 2011 at 2:22 am

    hi cubbie. this makes me think of diaryland. remember when we were all on diaryland at New College? and everyone was sharing these intimate details about their life (like heatherstrip!!!!!) and we were all reading them but were also too scared to talk in person (or i was anyway).

    anyways, i quit diaryland because i got a stalker, someone who googled my friend’s name which I had used in my blog. i think it was a girlfriend or something and they wrote 80 billion nasty and gross things in my comments and it made me really sad and i quit and went into like 6+ years of internet hiding. maybe more.

    i think the best thing about being 30ish is that i just don’t care to hide who i am anymore, on the internet or ever. i know a lot of people who think facebook is dumb and just leads to oversharing every aspect of your life, but i really love it. i really love having a glimpse into the lives of all my faraway peeps (and some of the ones from the diaryland days, too!) and i hope that at least some of them enjoy getting a peek into mine.

    • 2. puckworth  |  August 30, 2011 at 3:02 am

    • 3. cubbie  |  August 31, 2011 at 4:51 pm

      i know, right? i love it. were you there at “heather”‘s art opening. there were like, 10 d-land people there, as i recall, and i believe we had all written about how we were going to go, and then wrote about having been, but… we still did not manage to talk to each other. now i have the excuse of physical distance from most of these people.

      i’ve always been an oversharer, AND i love being overshared at. (though i have a post in mind coming up about my self-centeredness, too.)

  • 4. yukendra  |  September 1, 2011 at 4:46 am

    I LOVE this project!!!

    • 5. cubbie  |  September 3, 2011 at 11:12 pm

      thanks! i’m glad. it’s fun to see you’ve visited it!


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