Posts tagged ‘babies’

friend thirty-nine.

friend thirty-nine! oh, friend thirty-nine! friend thirty-nine, “ann marie,” is a newish part of my quaker meeting, and my girlfriend and i both just absolutely adore her. she’s a mom with a great sense of humor, a ton of creativity, a calm demeanor, and a warm smile that makes me want to tell her all the time that her family and mine should become next door neighbors and we can all do art projects all the time.


November 8, 2011 at 12:46 am 2 comments

friend twenty-two.

quaker meetings in the u.s. tend to be mostly white. there are lots of ideas about why that might be, and i’ve written about it a little bit at my other blog, and mean to write more about it… always. when i first started going to the sf meeting, i really noticed the whiteness. traditionally i’ve not been very good at noticing the whiteness of places, because i’m white and it’s easy for me not to notice. my college was mostly white and it took me years to figure that out. but i moved to the bay area fresh from attempts at trying to raise consciousness around diversity in another primarily white environment, olympia. so when i got to the bay area, which is much less white than olympia or my college, and my faith community was so white, i was aware.

and concerned. and confused. and guilty. and with very few answers.

when i’m new somewhere, i spend a lot of time scoping out the lay of the land. i talk and i listen but i don’t act. sometimes i never act.

but then came friend twenty-two. as a young trans-racial adoptee, friend twenty-two had lots to say about the whiteness of the quaker meeting. she made a lot of us uncomfortable with her seeking questions, but in general, i found her perseverance refreshing. okay, sometimes i was annoyed because my comfort was being disrupted and my new chosen community was being looked at with a very critical eye. but it felt like what was needed, because i didn’t feel well-informed (about race or quakerism) or brave enough to be so vocal.

also, as a young person, friend twenty-two was figuring out a lot of things about herself, as we all are, and eventually she stopped coming to meeting. she was going to move away but if i’m correct, then there was a boy… and now, excitingly, there is a baby, too! i’m so excited about the baby and friend twenty-two and i speak about getting together. but this whole being a grown-up business makes it hard.

October 21, 2011 at 10:52 pm Leave a comment

friend eighteen.

this is sort of the first “i actually feel close to this person and i don’t think i’m imagining it” post. everybody else i’ve posted about are people i like and who like me back but it’s a lot more about friendship potential than friendship actuality. the more i’m writing this, the more i’m worried that i’m dismissing the friendships i’ve mentioned thus far, but i don’t mean to– i adore those people. but i worry that the adoration is one-sided.

anyway, friend eighteen. we started undergrad together, two of the few people from the area. we always got along, but it wasn’t until one of our last years there that i discovered myself to be somewhat smitten by her verbal wit and snazzy dressing. suddenly, for a good month or so, my life was consumed with zooming back and forth between hanging out with friend eighteen, who i will refer to here as “alison,” and then rehashing every moment with my other friends, a particular fabulous queer boy in our set wanting to hear all the details via AOL instant messenger:

mE: we talked! she had an ethnic wrap!

fAbqb*!: LOL! on her head!?

mE: WHAT? no!

fAbqb*!: LOL! brb

mE: it was this vegetarian thing. i don’t know. it made us laugh. we were in the anthro lab. it seemed appropriate.

fAbqb*!: oh! LOL!

anyway, culturally appropriative food and/or headwear aside, we had lots of fun times. there were lots of field trips with my friends off campus in the middle of the night. ihop, drunkenly ordering “biscuits and gravy with no gravy” which was hilarious because it sounded like it came with a side of nongravy, after having sat on the floor of the hallway outside her dormroom, talking for hours. applebee’s all night happy hour specials that claimed to give 2 drinks for the price of one, though they were smaller than their usual drinks.

it was after a few too many grasshoppers (i actually just typed “grosshoppers”) that the crush confession was made. and in my usual style, i got drunk, confessed my crush, rejected myself, and probably cried a little. and then eventually i got over it, and we’ve stayed friends this whole time.

she’s married now and SOOOO pregnant (so pregnant that i’m worried this post, like so many others, won’t be posted for a long time, because some big baby thing will happen before she can read it and give permission). her husband’s great, they’re supercute together, and i’ve found about a dozen + crushes since friend eighteen, and i am, of course, happily coupled now, myself.

we live on opposite sides of the country, which is actually physically closer than the two years she was in japan. we comment on each other’s facebook posts pretty regularly, and she’s on a facebook group message i have as a support network. we’ve cracked each other up tons of times and she’s been there for me during some tough things. friend eighteen is a good one. no more giddy conversations in the anthro lab, but i like our friendship anyway.

September 3, 2011 at 2:52 am 1 comment