Posts tagged ‘childhood’
there’s also the way that social networking websites can be pretty crazy-making. for example, a few years ago, i found myself trying to contact my best friend from grades 2-4. i wanted to reach out to her but was terrified about all of the changes that had occurred for me, so found myself sending her a message on myspace with something cryptic like, “how would you feel if you found out your childhood best friend was now a boy?” sometimes i am unintentionally creepy. anyway, i didn’t hear anything back from her and decided our friendship was officially shot and she was officially skeeved out, etc., etc. i don’t know why i think it’s a good idea to send messages to long lost friends at two in the morning or why i think that my worked-up insecurities about those messages are based anywhere in reality.
finally, recently, i decided to brave it again. i was clearer this time, although the insecurity bred from the last lack of reciprocation was definitely clear in the message. i really really wanted to renew the friendship, but i knew that there were any number of reasons that that might not be possible or desirable for my childhood best friend, friend thirty-four, “amy b.”
but fortunately she responded, excitedly, agreeing that these reconnections are the whole purpose of facebook. currently we are politically very similar, we are both engaged, and we are both trying to focus on writing, so those are nice commonalities to have. and then there are the many many memories of the time in our life when the world was much more touched with magic than it is now. this is the girl i spent hours digging on the playground to try to unearth what we thought was a triceratops bone but what was really the cement that anchored part of the play structure. this is the girl who i cried over songs like “somewhere out there” and “the greatest love of all” with. this is the girl who told me all about the land of mordor while i told her about a red-haired orphan and we plotted running away and starting a bakery. this is the girl who convinced me there was an alien in my shower and who listened to me describe my theory that i was actually an alien dropped from my cradle at the same time an earth baby was dropped from its cradle. this is the girl who was convinced with me, that our substitute teacher who was reading us the witches by roald dahl was in fact a witch (but a good one), herself (to this day, i swear she must have at least put some sort of black substance in her mouth to help lead us to that conclusion). this is the girl who vied with me to get the new german student to kiss one of us under the play structure. this is the girl who sang with me on the swings. this is the girl that the yard attendant had to mediate many of my arguments with, due to our cockamamy theories, her creative tendencies, and my taurean stubbornness. she was the cece bloom to my hilary whitney.
in 5th grade, i moved away and she started going to the school for the gifted. when i came back, i wanted to apply to that school but it wasn’t in the cards. we had a few hangout sessions but adolescent awkwardness had set in, and her world was so much different from mine and i was a little intimidated. so after i stopped going to practices for the local youth choir, we lost touch. at some point in high school, i almost wrote a letter to the address that was still engrained in my memory. when i went to college, i met friend eighteen who had also gone to the school for the gifted, and i picked her brain about friend thirty-four. and after a few google searches, i finally braved contact the aforementioned awkward time. and then, finally, i did it in a slightly more socially competent and confident way, and now we are back in touch. hurray!