Posts tagged ‘friendship potential’

friend thirty-seven.

my best friend and i used to hang out with this entertaining younger girl who was the daughter of my friend’s parents’ friends… yes. and one evening, she hilariously regaled us with a description of this chicken alarm clock that sang a funny song.

somehow, in college, i wound up telling someone, friend thirty-seven, about this friend telling me about this alarm clock… and SHE HAD THAT ALARM CLOCK. when you are in early adulthood, that is pure magic.

another thing about friend thirty-seven that was magic was her cat. we were next door neighbors for a semester, and during that semester, i got to cat-sit once, which was fantastic.

she also had a really fun boyfriend who came and visited…

and… that’s sort of it. except even though she’s shy and mysterious, and i’m not sure how many other interactions we had, she’s one of my favorite people.


November 17, 2011 at 10:25 pm Leave a comment

friend thirty-six.

ok. new college.

new college was sort of a haven for weirdos. that was a big part of its charm for me. there were normal people who came, judged and/or were judged, and left. but then there were also the special few normal-seeming people who for some reason managed to thrive there socially, always being friendly to those of us who were waving our freak flags high.

to me, friend thirty-six, “amy,” was one of those rare special people. and ironically, even though she was always friendly and she ran with a crowd of people who weren’t quite normal, i was always a little nervous that somehow her theoretical normalcy and my obvious oddness would clash, and so we never really bonded in the way that i think we could have– because if you thrive at new college, you probably have some charmingly odd characteristics.

since new college, she has married her college sweetheart and apparently been doing roller derby. her smile still seems bright and friendly, at least in facebook photos. maybe someday we’ll talk and i’ll either discover she’s weirder than i thought or i’m not as weird as i thought i was.

November 9, 2011 at 4:47 am 4 comments

friend twenty-two.

quaker meetings in the u.s. tend to be mostly white. there are lots of ideas about why that might be, and i’ve written about it a little bit at my other blog, and mean to write more about it… always. when i first started going to the sf meeting, i really noticed the whiteness. traditionally i’ve not been very good at noticing the whiteness of places, because i’m white and it’s easy for me not to notice. my college was mostly white and it took me years to figure that out. but i moved to the bay area fresh from attempts at trying to raise consciousness around diversity in another primarily white environment, olympia. so when i got to the bay area, which is much less white than olympia or my college, and my faith community was so white, i was aware.

and concerned. and confused. and guilty. and with very few answers.

when i’m new somewhere, i spend a lot of time scoping out the lay of the land. i talk and i listen but i don’t act. sometimes i never act.

but then came friend twenty-two. as a young trans-racial adoptee, friend twenty-two had lots to say about the whiteness of the quaker meeting. she made a lot of us uncomfortable with her seeking questions, but in general, i found her perseverance refreshing. okay, sometimes i was annoyed because my comfort was being disrupted and my new chosen community was being looked at with a very critical eye. but it felt like what was needed, because i didn’t feel well-informed (about race or quakerism) or brave enough to be so vocal.

also, as a young person, friend twenty-two was figuring out a lot of things about herself, as we all are, and eventually she stopped coming to meeting. she was going to move away but if i’m correct, then there was a boy… and now, excitingly, there is a baby, too! i’m so excited about the baby and friend twenty-two and i speak about getting together. but this whole being a grown-up business makes it hard.

October 21, 2011 at 10:52 pm Leave a comment

friend twenty-nine.

friend twenty-nine, who i will refer to here as “amber dipietra“, and i went to college together but didn’t really know each other well. she was in the group of people who in my head were the “older, cooler, poetry people.” one of the themes of this whole project is how misplaced intimidation has gotten in my way, and this is one of those cases.

recently, i was at the sfmoma and i ran into two new college students, friend twenty-nine being one of them. we became facebook friends, and from that i’ve learned that her poetry has really taken off and she’s doing some really awesome things with it. now that we’re relative neighbors, as far as the new college diaspora goes, maybe we’ll see more of each other and have actual conversations.

October 15, 2011 at 4:19 am Leave a comment

friend seventeen.

friend seventeen, who i will refer to here as “alison c.,” and i have one of those typical bay area and/or grown-up friendships of the “let’s hang out!” “yes, let’s!” … “we should really hang out!” “yeah, i’d like that!” … etc. types.

we met one time at a big group outing organized by a mutual friend. the plan was to go to the grease sing-a-long in san francisco, and our friend who organized it brought together a bunch of people for dinner out beforehand. i ran late to the dinner and wound up sitting next to friend seventeen and her partner and being charmed by both of them. as the group of people at the far end of the table away from the host of the whole thing, we kind of formed our own little club because shouting across the room was hard. we talked about fascinating things like the way that the restaurant plated foods beautifully. on the walk to the movie theater, we talked about commitments and babies and things like that, a little bit deeper than my memory of the dinner conversation. it was nice. there should be more. she’s smart and funny and thoughtful, all things i find important in friendships.

it also turns out that we have a mutual friend in another city, so that’s fun, too. besides genuinely liking friend seventeen and the potential for our friendship anyway, her friendship with the mutual friends we have makes friendship with her seem like it would be quite valuable.

September 14, 2011 at 12:18 am Leave a comment

friend eleven.

today is friend eleven’s birthday! that wasn’t intentional for this post, but i like it. (i found out from facebook.)

friend eleven, who i will refer to here as alex, has a big-eyed thoughtful sense of wonder. this is not to say that she is naive at all. a world traveler and social justice activist, she does impressive things like volunteers to teach one language at san quentin while at the same time learning another. with kids, she’s patient and silly, and she’s not a bit self-righteous, with a warm smile and a fantastic laugh of true delight which both come out in most conversations.

the arc of our friendship has been somewhat choppy. we met working at a summer camp together, attempting to lead a conversation about social justice at my apartment, but no one came. we had lots of thoughtful things to say to each other in preparation and we made grand plans to keep talking about important things. and, in the way of life, there were facebook messages, a year passed, she went to egypt, and then we ran into each other shortly after she got back. “we should hang out!” “yes!” “yes!” ages later, right around last christmas, we got together at a coffeehouse, chattering like mad, sharing desserty breakfasts. five short months later, she came to my birthday, and then only 2 months later, we got together again, at the same coffeehouse as before (it’s right by where she lives, so i think of it as “the great place where we hang out,” while to her it’s “the coffeehouse by my house that i hope you don’t mind we go to.”).

i was super happy when she came to my birthday party. when she said she was actually coming, i excitedly told trisha, saying, “you’ll really like her, too, i think.” she’s one of those people who i’d love to be bff’s with because she has such positive energy and she gets me talking and thinking about really important things. the bay area though has this thing where it can seem like an epic journey to cross the bay, and her life in sf seems so far from my east bay life. our coffeehouse chats will probably always be few and far between. but i think we might be on a little bit of a roll here and might actually see each other a few times a year. that’ll be nice.

August 17, 2011 at 4:55 pm Leave a comment

friend seven.

i have two superstrong memories of friend seven, aimee sometimes.

1) eighth grade. somehow able to hilariously do an impression of a gnu as ace ventura: pet detective. (she doesn’t remember this.)

2) high school. junior or senior year. singing epically beautiful harmonies of simon and garfunkel songs with a friend.

and… that’s about it.

and… that’s mostly the fault of my self-loathing shyness at that time. we probably all had it, but friend seven was really good at shoving past that and showing us all that man, she had talent.

more recently, we’ve been in touch. i think we could actually be decent friends if we lived near each other, because i’m no longer an adolescent and can recognize that someone can be fantastically talented and that we can still meet each other as equals. that’s pretty nice. as it is, she’s busy living her life, i’m busy living mine, and that’s cool, too. but i really like that she’s out there, even if i actually have no idea if she still does impressions or sings.

August 15, 2011 at 11:52 pm Leave a comment

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