Posts tagged ‘intimidating’

friend sixty-one.

friend sixty-one, “beth prentiss,” is hard to write about. she’s someone i’ve always thought is really awesome and smart, but who i’ve also been pretty intimidated by. we went to new college together and she was a very vocal and fierce feminist, and as a shy, awkward, uncertain feminist, i was afraid of doing or saying things that were somehow unfeminist around her, especially because she was really pretty and i could barely handle myself around pretty peers.

one of the themes of many of these posts is how much i’d like to interact with the people i used to be somewhat intimidated by because i think i’d do a better job of actually talking to them, because i finally regard myself as equally human. friend sixty-one doesn’t live too far from me, so that makes it more possible than with some other people, i think. but then there’s also this weird fear that i’m just going to blab out all of the ways i’ve ever felt awkward and how glad i am to not feel that awkward, and what kind of conversation is that.

my dream conversation with friend sixty-one would be less about me or how relatively awkward or confident i feel, and more about big global issues as well as our grown-up perspectives on the weird reality that was new college. it also looks like she studied a subject that is currently dear to me, so that could be a good start, too.

a big part of the reason i’d like to be real friends with friend sixty-one is because even though she has an intimidating exterior, sometimes these expressions of sheer delight cross her face and that looks like fun.

January 30, 2012 at 1:49 am 4 comments

friend fifty-seven.

yesterday, my girlfriend burst into some of the biggest laughter i’ve heard from her in a long time. “i’m not sure if this was meant for me or not, but friend fifty-seven just sent me a text message that said, ‘fuck, now i can’t tell the difference between celery and green onions.'” for this, i will be forever grateful, because we’ve been having a sad time in our house, and things that make her laugh make me happy. and i don’t care if he can’t tell the difference between the two as long as he leaves them both out of my food.

for about a year, i really only knew of friend fifty-seven from word of mouth– he was the teacher in the class that my girlfriend worked in. cute and/or distressing stories of kids and the amusingly aloof music aficionado of a teacher made it home regularly. later, she started working as a teacher at the same school as his fiance and so i’d get to hear stories about him as boyfriend as well– impulsive tattoos and leaving when the house was full of crafting women further filled out my perception of someone she clearly liked and respected.

we got invited to their wedding where we became “the dancing couple” at the reception (later learning, though my girlfriend had suspected, that the party music standards we were dancing to, were not actually the songs they had carefully, meticulously, and artfully chosen). we’ve hung out a few times, and our various shynesses and social awkwardnesses, as well as our very different interests, have not made for the best conversations. but i know that he enjoys my facebook posts about watching “wings” so i feel a little less awkward.

January 22, 2012 at 4:38 pm Leave a comment

friend fifty-six.

i used to work with friend fifty-six, who i will refer to here as “benz,” but really only long enough to discover that he was beautiful, flirty (though not with me), and fabulous.

January 22, 2012 at 12:11 am Leave a comment

friend fifty-three.

she said, “you should meet friend fifty-three, barnaby. we call him the spine-ripper.”

so, i was surprised to meet a calm, friendly, somewhat geeky young man who was really fun to talk to. when i lived in the pacific northwest, we hung out in groups a few times in seattle, and we’ve become facebook friends. i always look forward to his posts about his life and political things, as well as events that he’s going to that sound fun. he also posts about things related to all this technology stuff we are all embroiled in and when my eyes don’t glaze over, i appreciate those things, too.

for the record, he has never actually ripped out a spine, but he says that when one does, it sounds like a giant zipper, only wetter.

January 19, 2012 at 2:09 am Leave a comment

friend forty-seven.

creative. dynamic. a little intimidating. someone with a very strong presence who stirs up the positive energy when she enters a room, i wasn’t surprised to learn that after we went to new college together, friend forty-seven, who i will refer to here as “april danyluk,” went to clown school. a snazzy dresser and fantastic performer, at college, if friend forty-seven was there, i knew whatever event i was at was going to have a beautiful and fun level of unconventionality. we lived in the bay area for a little while at the same time, and ran into each other at an event out here, but we’re still in that “friendship potential” stage of things.

December 20, 2011 at 6:29 pm Leave a comment

friend thirty-six.

ok. new college.

new college was sort of a haven for weirdos. that was a big part of its charm for me. there were normal people who came, judged and/or were judged, and left. but then there were also the special few normal-seeming people who for some reason managed to thrive there socially, always being friendly to those of us who were waving our freak flags high.

to me, friend thirty-six, “amy,” was one of those rare special people. and ironically, even though she was always friendly and she ran with a crowd of people who weren’t quite normal, i was always a little nervous that somehow her theoretical normalcy and my obvious oddness would clash, and so we never really bonded in the way that i think we could have– because if you thrive at new college, you probably have some charmingly odd characteristics.

since new college, she has married her college sweetheart and apparently been doing roller derby. her smile still seems bright and friendly, at least in facebook photos. maybe someday we’ll talk and i’ll either discover she’s weirder than i thought or i’m not as weird as i thought i was.

November 9, 2011 at 4:47 am 4 comments

friend twenty-nine.

friend twenty-nine, who i will refer to here as “amber dipietra“, and i went to college together but didn’t really know each other well. she was in the group of people who in my head were the “older, cooler, poetry people.” one of the themes of this whole project is how misplaced intimidation has gotten in my way, and this is one of those cases.

recently, i was at the sfmoma and i ran into two new college students, friend twenty-nine being one of them. we became facebook friends, and from that i’ve learned that her poetry has really taken off and she’s doing some really awesome things with it. now that we’re relative neighbors, as far as the new college diaspora goes, maybe we’ll see more of each other and have actual conversations.

October 15, 2011 at 4:19 am Leave a comment

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