Posts tagged ‘san francisco’

friend fifty-eight.

although i was raised by hippies and have some lovely pagan friends, i’ve never been able to use “witchy” in as fabulously flattering a way as i can when i use it for friend fifty-eight. a fellow paraprofessional at a school in san francisco, friend fifty-eight always impressed me with her caring, wisdom, calmness, beauty, and artistic talent. bringing a love of the ethereal and the natural to the students at the school, friend fifty-eight is a wonderful gift for any school to have, and i miss working with her.


January 26, 2012 at 2:18 am Leave a comment

friend fifty-six.

i used to work with friend fifty-six, who i will refer to here as “benz,” but really only long enough to discover that he was beautiful, flirty (though not with me), and fabulous.

January 22, 2012 at 12:11 am Leave a comment

friend forty-one.

friend forty-one, who i will refer to here as “anne brodzky,” is probably one of the sweetest and most thoughtful people on the planet. she’s the quaker woman who runs meridian art gallery with her husband. the art gallery has had amazing exhibits of social justice-related art and also offers internships for low income teens. the building is stunning and when i was trying to work up the motivation to run the young adult quaker group, she offered the space for some of our events. the space is gorgeous, with cozy spots for conversation.

friend forty-one and i met for a conversation at the gallery one morning, to discuss social justice, diversity within quakerism, racism, and all the other big things. i was struck by her energy, passion, and the amount of thought she’s put into all of these big topics. that was 3 or 4 years ago and most of our other conversations have involved me whizzing past her through the meetinghouse, too “busy” to talk again. but i’d like that to change.

December 12, 2011 at 5:00 am Leave a comment

friend forty-four.

san francisco is one of those places full of transplants, like myself, to the point that when you’ve met someone who’s lived there for more than 10 years, you think of them as a native. friend forty-four, who i will refer to here as “annie” is an actual native of san francisco, which impresses me to no end. not only is she a native, but she went to college at berkeley, so she can give you the culinary lowdown on most places on both sides of the bay.

my girlfriend and i have been together for 4 1/2 years now. early on she introduced me to a good friend who swiftly became my good friend, too. and within a few months, i started to really wish for him the kind of love i was finding with my girlfriend. not that relationships are necessary for happiness of course, but my girlfriend and i are so happy, we wanted to spread it around. so we were thrilled when he started dating this smart, passionate woman and even more thrilled when we realized she was really making him happy. they’ve been together for a couple of years now, and it’s been great getting to know her better, too. she knows about people and places that are magnificent secrets of the bay area, and she knows how to connect to people that seem intimidating. like my girlfriend and friend forty-four’s boyfriend, she cares really big about important things, and she is a treasure for our friend. i’m happy for him and glad to have friend forty-four as part of my own circle of friends.

December 4, 2011 at 5:55 pm Leave a comment

friend forty.

like many of us, when i was in high school and college, i wrote wretchedly bad poetry. my freshman year of college, i tried to get into a much-coveted poetry class with a poem about the chipped silver nailpolish of the girl i had a crush on and a statement of purpose about how i never edited anything. i didn’t get in. friend forty, funnily enough, was the person who had to tell me the news. before that, i think our friendship potential had been quite high, but after that, even though it hadn’t been her decision, i think i got a little distant. which is sad, because this smart girl with a sweet demeanor and smile and actual poetry talent would probably have been a lot of fun to hang out with.

perhaps i have the chance again. we recently ran into each other (she was with friend twenty-nine) at the sfmoma cafe, and made all of those “let’s be facebook friends and really hang out” hopes and promises. i hope it can work out.

November 19, 2011 at 5:00 am 2 comments

friend thirteen.

lucky thirteen, “alice,” is a woman from my quaker meeting. her laugh and smile always makes me think she is younger than she is, which is actually pretty common for me in my meeting and in san francisco in general.

she’s really really smart in a way that one could find intimidating if they wanted. she thinks hard and long about things, and her insights are always very rich. she’s also very kind and caring and that shows up hugely in her interactions with adults and kids.

one little crimp, though, in our relationship (and as i write this, i’m thinking about how it’s funny that i am about to discuss with her this crimp via an email in which i ask her permission to put it on the internet for all the world to see. oh, the times we live in!) has to do with what i think is our shynesses. early in both of our times coming to quaker meeting, we were attending some “worship sharing” sessions. (worship sharing is a quaker term for a specific form of conversation about spiritual matters. questions are posed and participants speak out of the silence, generally only speaking once to the question until all have spoken.) we were getting to know each other really well. one day, during quaker meeting, i came over and sat next to her. this was the first time i’d ever sat next to anyone. i’d had people sit next to me, but for some reason i viewed quaker meeting as something like a public bus (stephen colbert would understand) or a school cafeteria and that you shouldn’t sit next to people you didn’t arrive with until there were no other seats available. so, at the end of the meeting, we hugged, and i said, “don’t worry. i didn’t mean to sit next to you.” as soon as i said it, i realized the ridiculousness of the statement and my assumptions up until that point. and i saw it in her face, too. “i liked that you sat next to me,” she said, puzzled by why i was stating that it was accidental.

i am not sure i’ve ever completely recovered from that. she’s welcomed me and talked with me, and we’ve been on long car trips together, but i think i broke the burgeoning bond that day and have never known quite how to get it back. obviously, posting about it all over the internet will help things.

October 31, 2011 at 12:06 am Leave a comment

friend twenty-two.

quaker meetings in the u.s. tend to be mostly white. there are lots of ideas about why that might be, and i’ve written about it a little bit at my other blog, and mean to write more about it… always. when i first started going to the sf meeting, i really noticed the whiteness. traditionally i’ve not been very good at noticing the whiteness of places, because i’m white and it’s easy for me not to notice. my college was mostly white and it took me years to figure that out. but i moved to the bay area fresh from attempts at trying to raise consciousness around diversity in another primarily white environment, olympia. so when i got to the bay area, which is much less white than olympia or my college, and my faith community was so white, i was aware.

and concerned. and confused. and guilty. and with very few answers.

when i’m new somewhere, i spend a lot of time scoping out the lay of the land. i talk and i listen but i don’t act. sometimes i never act.

but then came friend twenty-two. as a young trans-racial adoptee, friend twenty-two had lots to say about the whiteness of the quaker meeting. she made a lot of us uncomfortable with her seeking questions, but in general, i found her perseverance refreshing. okay, sometimes i was annoyed because my comfort was being disrupted and my new chosen community was being looked at with a very critical eye. but it felt like what was needed, because i didn’t feel well-informed (about race or quakerism) or brave enough to be so vocal.

also, as a young person, friend twenty-two was figuring out a lot of things about herself, as we all are, and eventually she stopped coming to meeting. she was going to move away but if i’m correct, then there was a boy… and now, excitingly, there is a baby, too! i’m so excited about the baby and friend twenty-two and i speak about getting together. but this whole being a grown-up business makes it hard.

October 21, 2011 at 10:52 pm Leave a comment

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