Posts tagged ‘support network’
it’s one in the afternoon.
i’m bleary-eyed and foggy after a week-long trip to the pacific northwest, going broke on donuts and coffee and cute independently produced art. my back is cramped from too many types of beds and my sinuses are going crazy.
but the trip was amazing. it was amazing to see all of the wonderful places i used to know so well. olympia has really barely changed, and then as we were driving out of seattle in the pouring rain, i thought that i could have just as easily wrapped myself in coffee and KEXP as i did when I was 23 years old.
we saw people, but just a select few. those selections always make me feel guilty, but if i saw all of the people i wanted to see in all of the places we spent a day and a half, i would be even less functional today than i am, and i would have been a basketcase all trip, trying to coordinate schedules and transportation. instead, it was just 1 or 2 sets of folks each place. and that was perfect. except for that whole leaving people out thing. someday. someday there will be infinite time to see all of the dear ones. (that’s what facebook is for, right?)
i miss it all, you know. that’s the trouble with me and all the moving i’ve done. there’s always someone to love, but there’s also always someone to miss. there are places that stay achingly the same and there are places that change beyond recognition so you’re afraid of going back. and there are people who hug the same and people who talk the same and people who have lost weight and people who are now in love and people who still knit and people who make you laugh until you cry and people you want to stay up talking to past 3 am and people who have known you since you were a person who embarrasses you now… and i’d like to have you all in my pocket or as my upstairs neighbor, but instead you are flung out and scattered like the stars.
friend thirty-three, “amy,” and i met in a car on the way to the portland zine symposium eight years ago. since then, we’ve read each other’s zines, discussed our love of pie and avocados, run into each other at a sleater-kinney concert, played animal crossing, thrift shopped, soothed each other’s broken hearts with pictures by stella marrs, and played supportive brief supporting roles in each others’ online lives. i like her a lot and have really enjoyed watching her blossom as a vegan chef and strong woman.
friend eight, who i will call alaina hellum-alexander, has a really good smile.
i haven’t seen friend eight in 5 or 6 years now, but when we were around each other more, i considered her a vital part of my support network. we knew each other in olympia, which more so than the bay area, is the kind of place where you are very likely to run into people you know and like every time you go out. friend eight is the kind of person who you’re extra excited to run into when that happens.
she is athletic and poised, fierce and kind, and knows a good cup of tea. she’s also apparently a fantastic teacher these days, rather than just an idealistic college student. i think she still has the ideals though, of course.
the funny thing is that one of my strongest memories of friend eight is just sitting in the car with her, her ex, and my ex, going somewhere, listening to the be good tanyas, when none of us were exes. and maybe it’s supposed to be an awkward memory, but there was this strong sense of safety there that i still associate with friend eight and with the be good tanyas.